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SIXTEEN-year-old Laura Baxter is happy to have some tough conversations with the world.
The bright and confident Whakatane teenager came under the spotlight recently after fronting Whakatane events in support of national organisation, Rainbow Youth. She says the gap between those who accept, support, and understand gay people and those who don’t needs to be bridged and “someone needs to do it”.
Handing out information and selling Rainbow Youth’s trademark multi-coloured ribbons in support of the organisation’s awareness campaign, Laura says her motivation to run the Eastern Bay activities was to fulfil a final requirement on her path to a Rangers Queen’s Guide Award – the highest level of achievement in Girl Guides New Zealand. “Planning and executing a public event was one of my final tasks,” she says.
While Laura had little contact with Rainbow Youth previously, the exercise was, inarguably, a good fit. The bubbly year 12 student who says she knew she was different at a young age, but only accepted she was gay in year 10, brought the confidence into play. She says she’s been forced to develop as a young, gay teenager living in a small town.
“There’s a choice to be made,” Laura says. “Either pretend you are someone other than who you are, or face the world head on”.
Laura considers herself lucky. She lives in a happy household with supportive parents who, though the road wasn’t easy, she says are fairly accepting.
“I can’t imagine what it would be like if they weren’t,” she says. While sensing she was not the same as her friends when she was younger, it wasn’t until she began reading about being gay that she suddenly understood what that difference was. “I was young, I didn’t know what being gay meant. I didn’t know there was even such a thing, but as soon as I read about it, I knew that was me.”
TACKLING THE ISSUES: Laura headed Rainbow Youth’s awareness campaign in Whakatane. D6083-18
She says that realisation, around years 8 and 9, was followed by months of denial before she accepted the fact and began to tell her friends. It was a while longer before she told her siblings, and considerably longer before she told her parents. “But when I did, Dad said, ‘tell us something we don’t know’.”
“Mum and Dad have been amazing,” Laura says. Mum, Debbie, helped with the campaign at Wharaurangi, on The Strand, dropping into stores to hand out information and talking to people on the street. “It was a learning curve for me,” Debbie says.
As for life at school, Laura says it’s been a mixed bag. “Overall, the culture of the school is fairly accepting of gay students. Sure, there’s the snide remarks,” she says, but unlike the story of others less fortunate, Laura says she has never felt bullied. “There are plenty of gay students at our school, and most of us are out and I think it’s pretty well accepted.”
While grateful for that aspect of the school culture, Laura is quick to condemn other aspects of her school life. “Sex education and the health courses taught have got a long way to go,” she says, referring to what she views as the provision of largely heterosexual targeted information. “For young people struggling with their sexual identity, real education is needed,” she says, referring to the high rate of depression and anxiety among young people with gender issues.
While praising the schools’ guidance counsellor as well as some “great” teachers, Laura thinks there is much to be done to create a more positive environment for young, gay people. “I guess a school reflects a similar cross-section of people that you’d see in any situation. Some people support gays, some don’t. We have teachers at the school who are clearly anti-gay. We even have a teacher who supports Trump. Need I say more?”
It’s social media that Laura attributes to shifting the attitudes of young people in environments such as schools. “Older people are quick to talk about the negative aspects of social media, refusing to see how it is also a really good thing. It brings so much exposure to everyone and can change attitudes. I think I learned most of the things I know about being gay from social media.”
But an area of Laura’s life that remains a place of conflict, and leaves her, she says “feeling incomplete”, is the area of her life which is the most important to her – her life as a practising Catholic, and her relationship with the Church and its congregation.
“The two don’t really go well together,” she says. “Being a Catholic is the one thing that stops me feeling 100 percent comfortable about myself. I don’t tell my Christian friends that I’m gay because they believe it’s a sin. They’ll set about trying to change me, to fix me. Christians believe homosexuality is a choice, but it’s not.”
Providing an example of the disconnection Laura feels between her sexuality and her Christianity, she speaks of a church study camp that she attends, outside of the region.
“I’ve grown to know those girls so well, and I love them all. They’re really important to me, but they don’t know I’m gay. I don’t tell them because I know some of them hate gays.”
It’s a conflict Laura clearly struggles with. “For me, Christianity is about love. But what I sometimes see in Christians, is love, only if you believe exactly what they do. I would challenge the church to “love thy neighbour”.
It’s a sentiment echoed by Debbie. While brought up in a strong Catholic household herself, Debbie says she too, struggles with the church’s view. “Sometimes we’re praying at church, and I listen to who the prayers are for. They’re for the poor or the sick or the abused, or for those who feel alone and alienated and that sort of thing, and I think to myself, ‘Does the church realise that many young gay people fit into that category? That this prayer is also for them?’ The church definitely sees sexual identity as a choice, but it is not. I don’t know where that disparity came from but obviously through its various teachings, the church as a whole is anti-gay. I think an entire aspect of Christianity is lost to that view.”
Aware that her story will likely prompt discussion with her church, Laura says she is ready for that. “Dialogue is needed,” she says. “There’s going to be some good conversations ahead.”
And there’s little doubt that the intelligent and vocal 16-year-old, with her strong sense of social justice, and possession of articulate delivery belying her years, is well up for it.
FEAR was not a factor for James Street School students during a series of daring challenges last week.
Around 40 students and staff were split into teams and rotated around physical, mental and strategic tasks, racing against the clock to gain points.
The first of six fear factor challenges was eating a piece of Weet-Bix topped with marmite, chilli jam and bugs. Next, team members had to dunk for an apple in water before searching for a lolly in a tray of flour.
Other challenges involved planks, blindfolds, stockings, balloons, ping pong balls – and plenty of teamwork.
The fear factor event was organised by 12 students who had participated in a Bluelight leadership camp at Taupo and reflective teambuilding at school.
Bluelight Whakatane co-ordinator Richard Hamer says the students learned about leadership and teamwork and the fear factor was a result of their new abilities.
“To successfully complete the programme and engage in a number of real-life leadership experiences, each individual child has had to do something positive for a neighbour and as a group, plan a school-wide event.”
James Street School deputy principal Roz Dakin says the opportunity allowed the group of students to grow and develop as children and leaders within their whanau, school and community.
“Whether it is academically, in the sporting field or culturally, these young leaders are stepping up to lead others.”
The programme has attracted financial support from Kopeopeo and Sunshine Lions.
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WET: Lauranze Juan is tries to grab a bite of apple to score points for her team. D6142-089
KEEP IT DOWN: Joshua Hansen nears the end of the eating challenge involving Weet-Bix topped with marmite, chilli jam and a variety of bugs.
KOURAKINO at Papakainga Marae in Ruatoki is the ancestral meeting house of Ngati Koura and for 100 years it has embraced its families during special events including tangihanga, or funerals.
The meeting house was built in 1917 and this weekend Ngati Koura celebrate the 100-year anniversary since the wharenui was opened.
Papakainga marae secretary Hinekuoro Hohua has been working with a small group of tribal members to get the wharenui looking sharp for its special day. This week she spoke to the Eastern Bay Life about being a guardian, or kaitiaki, of Kourakino and what it entails.
Hinekuoro says Kourakino is what connects the Ngati Koura people to each other and to the land that the marae sits on.
“Our wharenui is our history and our identity and is what connects people to places like our marae or our turangawaewae, our standing ground. So that’s why it is important to restore Kourakino so he can continue to shelter and embrace the next generations, hopefully for another 100 years or so.”
She says since deciding to restore the wharenui, or meeting house, in 2009 they have worked hard to make it happen.
“Each weekend we take photos of different jobs we have completed and, reflecting back, it’s been a worthwhile journey. We have had everyone come up to the marae at some time or another to muck in right from our babies, nieces and nephews right up to our nannies and koro. It has been an awesome experience working together doing, learning off one another and I am so humbled by our effects.
“Not only does our wharenui look totally awesome but our whole marae complex has had an injection of new life. So, we are feeling excited and nervous at the same time. Excited because we can see how awesome our marae is starting to look and nervous because with the weather changes we are unsure if everything will be fully completed.
“The thing I look forward to the most is completing all the jobs we have set out to do. I think when everyone sees how awesome our marae looks they will feel a greater sense of pride within themselves and develop a deeper feeling of aroha for their marae. This will hopefully bring all our whanau together, so we have manuhiri or whanau come home, we can uphold our traditional customs and protocols like manaakitanga me te matemateaone tetahi ki tetahi (taking care of one another and love of people and place). ”
And while she knows the wharenui will look great on the day, Hinekuoro says there is still more to do at Papakainga Marae.
“I think with the building being restored and everything working to full capacity we can continue to reaffirm our Tuhoe tikanga, kawa and language so we can uphold our values of manaakitanga (hospitality) and our Tuhoetanga.
“In going forward our hapu of Ngati Koura has still got a lot of work to do. We have over 70 percent of our whanau living away from our valley, so we will be planning ways to encourage our whanau to engage more regularly in what’s happening up at the marae.
Also, we will be looking at avenues to show whanau what’s happening although they are all over the world.
“Lastly, we still have to fundraise to purchase an awning for the front of our wharepuni, purchase more kitchen equipment, hook up our gas, build a whakaruruhau (shelter) for our manuhiri the list is endless. But all good things take time. So, there is still a lot to do.
“Funding has been our greatest challenge. Although we have fundraised by selling raffles, holding food stalls and setting up events to entertain our tamariki, we still find it difficult to reach our target financial goal. We have also applied for funding through different agencies to help with renovations, so hopefully we will hear back soon.”
PITCHING IN: Ngati Koura members muck in to help restore the meeting house at Papakainga Marae in time for its 100th anniversary celebrations this weekend. Photos Paula Massey D6154
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